The following is a sample of a successful Gilman essay submission. The student who wrote this essay was awarded a Gilman scholarship for her summer study abroad program in Spain. Following the essay, I give a brief discussion of what I feel to be the strong points of this essay.
Essay:
I have lived with diversity throughout my life. I grew up in South Florida, which is a melting pot of cultures, creeds and colors. I was a Jew hanging out with Cubans, Haitians, Catholics, and Baptists. My parents helped me to understand that there are many cultures in our melting pot, and that one is not better than another.
I was an adolescent during the 1980’s Mariel boatlifts that brought so many Cubans to the United States, and during the influx of Haitian immigrants to South Florida. These events caused quite a stir in South Florida and required a hefty dose of empathy and understanding. Why would so many people flee their homelands? We had to learn that not everyone is as fortunate as we are here. We had to learn to accept these new Americans. What a wonderful lesson to learn so young. If only more people could experience these life lessons, maybe our world will be a better place.
I have been fortunate enough to live in many places throughout the United States during my career as a photojournalist: South Florida, Detroit, Baton Rouge, and, finally, the Salt Lake Valley. Each place has its own dominant culture and robust subcultures. The hardest place to adapt to has been Salt Lake City. Living with a majority of Mormons and an almost nonexistent population of Jews, I have had to re-examine my understanding of diversity. I have met many people who have grown up here and have never been out of Utah. The lack of African Americans is a cultural shock. And, it can’t be discounted that in Utah and throughout the United States, there is a burgeoning population of Latinos.
But here, and now, my understanding of diversity has become more important. Maybe it is life experience, maybe it is age, maybe it’s that I now teach diversity issues at a community college, but I believe I am the perfect candidate to study abroad. If it takes a village to raise our children, I hope that I can be a member of the village who offers our youngsters a broader view of the world and a chance learn acceptance. Studying abroad will allow me to gain a new perspective on another place, another culture, and then to bring these perspectives back to the students I teach.
When I first heard that there is a diversity general education requirement for graduation at colleges and universities in Utah, I was taken aback. I didn’t understand why Utah students would need a class in diversity. But after teaching for a couple of years, I see the need is evident. Many students come to class not knowing what the Quran is. Many believed that racial profiling was a thing of the past – until it was pointed out that one their classmates was profiled by the police even as we were studying that unit. As part of the curriculum, we discuss white privilege, a practice from which most Utah students benefit.
I love teaching and inspiring students to develop their vision, but more importantly, I love helping the students develop an understanding of the cultures and the world around them.
I am a contemporary example of the diversity we have here in Utah. I am a middle-aged woman, a student, an adjunct instructor, a former department supervisor in a field traditionally dominated by men, a Jew, a native of the Northeast, and a victim of the Great Recession.
I am a nontraditional student studying communications at the University of Utah. Returning to school in middle age is not easy, but the rewards are tremendous. I value education far more than I would have valued it at a younger age. I consider myself old-school in the way I think and study. My younger peers have been wonderful in accepting me and helping me discover new ways of thinking. I feel blessed daily as I sit among peers who are half my age, and listen to their viewpoints about the world today. I can reflect on my view from years past as I see a younger generation looking toward the future.
After a 27-year career as photojournalist, editor, manager, and team leader, I lost my job three years ago. Life took a dramatic change. I tried to search for a job in the midst of the recession, but the effort proved fruitless. Most companies valued my experience, but required a university degree. So, after 24 years of on-and-off night school, I returned to school full-time. In August 2012, I completed my associate’s degree, graduating with honors from Salt Lake Community College.
I transferred to the University of Utah in the fall of 2012. Currently, I am carrying 15 credits, including two honors classes. I am also auditing a second level Spanish class to keep up my speaking skills in preparation for the study abroad experience.
In addition, I teach six to nine credits per semester as an adjunct instructor in photography at Salt Lake Community College. One of my favorite classes to lead is “Photographing Diversity,” in which we discuss diversity issues, then illustrate the concepts using photography. Students put their emotions and understanding on film, giving them a creative voice for understanding and sometimes change. As an instructor, I try to give my students the tools for success – in the skills of photography, in understanding how photographs communicate, and in the skills of analysis and discernment necessary to be a good employee and citizen. I ask the students to become the person I am trying to be: educated, engaged, creative and compassionate.
With a university degree, I may be able to teach more advanced classes and touch more students. To be sure, I am testing and stretching my mind, but I relish that I also get to pass knowledge and life lessons to another generation.
We all face challenges in life, and I have endured my share. For most of my life, I assumed I was not smart enough to attend a university. My mom, brother and sister have technical degrees, but no college experience. My dad has only a high school education. There was a time when I followed in the family tradition: high school, technical school, then career. Now, I expect to be the first in my family to achieve a bachelor’s degree and, hopefully, a master’s degree eventually. My goal is to graduate in 2014 with a Bachelor’s in Communication, and an Honors College degree, as well.
Adjusting to the rigors of university life has been tough. In business, I knew that practical solutions win the day. At the university, the standards are different, and academic rigor requires a methodical process that is new to me. Younger students seem to be free spirits, and I yearn to be carefree as well. But I know the stakes. I realize that I have a short window to soak in as much knowledge as possible in preparation for a new career.
And so, I discovered the Study Abroad program at the University of Utah. I have been accepted for the summer program in Oviedo, Spain. Admittedly, studying in Spain is a small indulgence, but I haven’t thought of the trip as a holiday. I see that there is so much to learn while studying abroad. I know that the trip to Spain will allow me to meet people, develop relationships, experience another culture and expand my language skills. I will return to Utah with a broader view of the world. And, I will be able to share that broader view in the classes I teach. I expect to learn more about globalization, religion, gender relations, and history by experiencing those things from a viewpoint outside of the United States.
I am studying strategic communication with an eye on a career that emphasizes conflict resolution in a human resources setting. But I want to continue teaching at the community college level. I love the sense of service to the community that I get by teaching.
A scholarship will help ease the burden of expenses that my family has incurred since I lost my job, and since my husband lost his job two years later. We have set paying for college as a priority, just behind the mortgage. Yes, I am concerned about our financial well-being, but mostly I am focused on my dream of a university degree and the possibilities of what a degree will allow me to offer the community.
I want to help students here in Utah understand and internalize the lessons of empathy and understanding that I was exposed to at such a young age. I know that studying abroad will allow me to learn more about another culture, lessons that I can bring back to students here in Utah.
Scholarship committee, I ask your help that I might be able to afford the study abroad experience, that I may be able to improve my language skills, and that I may be able to make a difference in our community.
Discussion:
Here are a few key aspects which made this essay a strong contender for the Gilman scholarship:
- This student’s writing style is simple and straight-forward. She does not beat around the bush or use flowery language; her readers know what she is trying to say, and why she is saying it.
- This student unabashedly shares her passion for teaching and her commitment to diversity education. She is clear and specific about how her goals and priorities fit into the priorities of the Gilman scholarship program.
- This essay is focused around a theme, diversity, and it does not include extraneous or irrelevant information. This is a great example of the tight and stream-lined type of writing that is possible when you keep yourself focused on the overall goal the essay.
Scholarship Sojourn 