Sample Gilman Essay #3: England

The following is a sample of a successful Gilman essay submission. The student who wrote this essay was awarded a Gilman scholarship for her summer learning abroad program to London, England. Following the essay, I give a brief discussion of what I feel to be the strong points of this essay. 

*Note: Portions of this essay have been removed out of consideration for the privacy of the author

Essay:

I am applying for the Gilman Scholarship in order to participate in the University of Utah London Street Scenes study abroad program. I am a University of Utah English major, and my focus is British Studies, particularly Romantic, Victorian, and Renaissance fiction. One of my goals for the future is to write historical fiction set in England, so this trip would certainly be an inspiration for me. I am a senior and will be graduating this summer semester. This study abroad program would fulfill all but one of my remaining upper division English credits as well as the International Requirement for my Bachelor of Arts degree. It would be the perfect finish for my English degree; it is a chance to experience in person the settings of the literature that I have been studying. But even more than that, the London Street Scenes program would be the most amazing experience of my life so far. I have always dreamed of going to England, but have never had the opportunity to travel before.

I am so hopeful that I can travel to England; I have always been enamored with British culture. In addition to my love for its literature, I find its history fascinating. I love so many things of British society, the art and architecture, tradition, linguistics, music, royalty, fashion, food, the stunning landscapes, and multicultural people. The past has always been interesting to me, and Britain has centuries more history than the United States. I think the people of Britain have a greater appreciation of their history and nature. For example, Londoners spend daily time in their city’s incredible parks or work in modern corporations housed in buildings designed by Christopher Wren. They have preserved these treasures, while in contrast, American historic buildings and natural places are often built over. I appreciate that the British place value on that beauty and that they seem to live with energy, optimism, and a celebration of their past and present. Any trip to London would be wonderful, but this program’s theme of Graphic London Street Scenes is perfect for me since it includes an exploration of the gothic city settings of Victorian novels. We will study Victorian and post-colonialist authors. I am also excited that the class will see a Shakespearean play at the Globe Theatre, visit Oxford University, and that we’ll live on the gorgeous campus of Regent’s College. In this program, the interactive class is given Mondays through Wednesdays, and the remainder of the week belongs to the students to pursue their own interests. If I’m able, I want to explore England a little, with train trips to see the incredible country sides of the Cumbrian Lake District and Yorkshire, and to visit Bath and Hampshire to explore the life of my favorite author, Jane Austen. However, experiencing the city of London would be more than enough for me. I am looking forward to visiting the London art galleries’ collections of my favorite Victorian artists, Turner and Constable, and the cathedrals and parks. I hope to see my two favorite musicals, “Les Misérables” and “Phantom of the Opera”, and to see a performance of the Royal Ballet. I am planning an individual research project about the role of London in the life and works of Jane Austen. While pursuing this research about my favorite author, I think it will just be fun to wander along the streets and absorb the city that has influenced so many creative minds. In this program, I will be one of a group of other U of U students and taught by U of U faculty. We will have access to the student facilities such as the cafeteria, library, and computers. I think that the familiarity, convenience, and security of that college environment will be helpful to me as a first time traveler.

With these circumstances, being a learning abroad student would be my first and only opportunity to travel, and scholarships are my only source of funding. Receiving the Gilman scholarship would make it possible for me to pay for the program cost. My trip would be a real example of the opportunities education can give. As soon as I graduate I am excited to begin working. I will need to find a job to support myself while I continue to work on my creative interests, including writing. This study abroad experience will be a valuable addition to my resume and something to discuss with potential employers. As excited as I am for my learning abroad program, I know that travel comes with challenges.  Everything about this travel experience will be new; I’ve never travelled away from home or even flown on a plane before.

Considering the obstacles I’ve had to face in my life, this trip would be a personal triumph, and I know I would return a stronger person. Doing something for the first time naturally makes me nervous, but my excitement is even more powerful than my nerves. I believe that I can handle the challenges, so completing this trip would give me the confidence and personal accomplishment of overcoming such emotional hardships. When I return it would mean so much to me to know that I made it to the place I’ve wanted to visit for so long.

 

Discussion:

Here are a few key aspects which made this essay a strong contender for the Gilman scholarship:

1. This student spends a lot of time discussing the location of her program; she is very specific about what aspects have drawn her to the culture of London. Essay readers want to see that you have thoughtfully chosen a learning abroad program that is going to benefit you personally, academically, professionally; this essay is an excellent example of such a thoughtful selection.
2. The opening paragraph of this essay is great; it is straight-forward, simple. Right from the beginning lines of this essay, the reader knows exactly what the author is about, why she wants to go abroad, and what her program will be like.
3.  This student avoids vague phrases like “life changing,” “international experience,” and “cultural education,” and rather uses specifics about British culture, literature, and her research project as it relates to these things.

Sample Gilman Essay #2: Spain

The following is a sample of a successful Gilman essay submission. The student who wrote this essay was awarded a Gilman scholarship for her summer study abroad program in Spain. Following the essay, I give a brief discussion of what I feel to be the strong points of this essay. 

Essay:

I have lived with diversity throughout my life. I grew up in South Florida, which is a melting pot of cultures, creeds and colors. I was a Jew hanging out with Cubans, Haitians, Catholics, and Baptists. My parents helped me to understand that there are many cultures in our melting pot, and that one is not better than another.

I was an adolescent during the 1980’s Mariel boatlifts that brought so many Cubans to the United States, and during the influx of Haitian immigrants to South Florida. These events caused quite a stir in South Florida and required a hefty dose of empathy and understanding. Why would so many people flee their homelands? We had to learn that not everyone is as fortunate as we are here. We had to learn to accept these new Americans. What a wonderful lesson to learn so young. If only more people could experience these life lessons, maybe our world will be a better place.

I have been fortunate enough to live in many places throughout the United States during my career as a photojournalist: South Florida, Detroit, Baton Rouge, and, finally, the Salt Lake Valley. Each place has its own dominant culture and robust subcultures. The hardest place to adapt to has been Salt Lake City. Living with a majority of Mormons and an almost nonexistent population of Jews, I have had to re-examine my understanding of diversity. I have met many people who have grown up here and have never been out of Utah. The lack of African Americans is a cultural shock. And, it can’t be discounted that in Utah and throughout the United States, there is a burgeoning population of Latinos.

But here, and now, my understanding of diversity has become more important. Maybe it is life experience, maybe it is age, maybe it’s that I now teach diversity issues at a community college, but I believe I am the perfect candidate to study abroad. If it takes a village to raise our children, I hope that I can be a member of the village who offers our youngsters a broader view of the world and a chance learn acceptance. Studying abroad will allow me to gain a new perspective on another place, another culture, and then to bring these perspectives back to the students I teach.

When I first heard that there is a diversity general education requirement for graduation at colleges and universities in Utah, I was taken aback. I didn’t understand why Utah students would need a class in diversity. But after teaching for a couple of years, I see the need is evident. Many students come to class not knowing what the Quran is. Many believed that racial profiling was a thing of the past – until it was pointed out that one their classmates was profiled by the police even as we were studying that unit. As part of the curriculum, we discuss white privilege, a practice from which most Utah students benefit.

I love teaching and inspiring students to develop their vision, but more importantly, I love helping the students develop an understanding of the cultures and the world around them.

I am a contemporary example of the diversity we have here in Utah. I am a middle-aged woman, a student, an adjunct instructor, a former department supervisor in a field traditionally dominated by men, a Jew, a native of the Northeast, and a victim of the Great Recession.

I am a nontraditional student studying communications at the University of Utah. Returning to school in middle age is not easy, but the rewards are tremendous. I value education far more than I would have valued it at a younger age. I consider myself old-school in the way I think and study. My younger peers have been wonderful in accepting me and helping me discover new ways of thinking. I feel blessed daily as I sit among peers who are half my age, and listen to their viewpoints about the world today. I can reflect on my view from years past as I see a younger generation looking toward the future.

After a 27-year career as photojournalist, editor, manager, and team leader, I lost my job three years ago. Life took a dramatic change. I tried to search for a job in the midst of the recession, but the effort proved fruitless. Most companies valued my experience, but required a university degree. So, after 24 years of on-and-off night school, I returned to school full-time. In August 2012, I completed my associate’s degree, graduating with honors from Salt Lake Community College.

I transferred to the University of Utah in the fall of 2012.  Currently, I am carrying 15 credits, including two honors classes. I am also auditing a second level Spanish class to keep up my speaking skills in preparation for the study abroad experience.

In addition, I teach six to nine credits per semester as an adjunct instructor in photography at Salt Lake Community College. One of my favorite classes to lead is “Photographing Diversity,” in which we discuss diversity issues, then illustrate the concepts using photography. Students put their emotions and understanding on film, giving them a creative voice for understanding and sometimes change. As an instructor, I try to give my students the tools for success – in the skills of photography, in understanding how photographs communicate, and in the skills of analysis and discernment necessary to be a good employee and citizen. I ask the students to become the person I am trying to be: educated, engaged, creative and compassionate.

With a university degree, I may be able to teach more advanced classes and touch more students. To be sure, I am testing and stretching my mind, but I relish that I also get to pass knowledge and life lessons to another generation.

We all face challenges in life, and I have endured my share. For most of my life, I assumed I was not smart enough to attend a university. My mom, brother and sister have technical degrees, but no college experience. My dad has only a high school education. There was a time when I followed in the family tradition: high school, technical school, then career. Now, I expect to be the first in my family to achieve a bachelor’s degree and, hopefully, a master’s degree eventually. My goal is to graduate in 2014 with a Bachelor’s in Communication, and an Honors College degree, as well.

Adjusting to the rigors of university life has been tough. In business, I knew that practical solutions win the day. At the university, the standards are different, and academic rigor requires a methodical process that is new to me. Younger students seem to be free spirits, and I yearn to be carefree as well. But I know the stakes. I realize that I have a short window to soak in as much knowledge as possible in preparation for a new career.

And so, I discovered the Study Abroad program at the University of Utah. I have been accepted for the summer program in Oviedo, Spain. Admittedly, studying in Spain is a small indulgence, but I haven’t thought of the trip as a holiday. I see that there is so much to learn while studying abroad. I know that the trip to Spain will allow me to meet people, develop relationships, experience another culture and expand my language skills. I will return to Utah with a broader view of the world. And, I will be able to share that broader view in the classes I teach. I expect to learn more about globalization, religion, gender relations, and history by experiencing those things from a viewpoint outside of the United States.

I am studying strategic communication with an eye on a career that emphasizes conflict resolution in a human resources setting. But I want to continue teaching at the community college level. I love the sense of service to the community that I get by teaching.

A scholarship will help ease the burden of expenses that my family has incurred since I lost my job, and since my husband lost his job two years later. We have set paying for college as a priority, just behind the mortgage. Yes, I am concerned about our financial well-being, but mostly I am focused on my dream of a university degree and the possibilities of what a degree will allow me to offer the community.

I want to help students here in Utah understand and internalize the lessons of empathy and understanding that I was exposed to at such a young age. I know that studying abroad will allow me to learn more about another culture, lessons that I can bring back to students here in Utah.

Scholarship committee, I ask your help that I might be able to afford the study abroad experience, that I may be able to improve my language skills, and that I may be able to make a difference in our community.

Discussion:

Here are a few key aspects which made this essay a strong contender for the Gilman scholarship:

1. This student’s writing style is simple and straight-forward. She does not beat around the bush or use flowery language; her readers know what she is trying to say, and why she is saying it.
2. This student unabashedly shares her passion for teaching and her commitment to diversity education. She is clear and specific about how her goals and priorities fit into the priorities of the Gilman scholarship program.
3. This essay is focused around a theme, diversity, and it does not include extraneous or irrelevant information. This is a great example of the tight and stream-lined type of writing that is possible when you keep yourself focused on the overall goal the essay.

Who am I?

I am a Program Coordinator in the Center for Learning Abroad at the University of Utah. I manage applications, queries, institutional partnerships and faculty relations for all of our learning abroad programs to Asia and the Pacific. I am also in charge of scholarships for our office. This means that I manage and review applications for our two in-house scholarships in addition to advising students on applications for external scholarships like CLS, FLAS, Gilman and Boren.

As an undergraduate student at the University of Utah, I was fully funded by the U’s Presidential Scholarship. As a junior, I spent a semester interning for Maitri, a non-profit organization in New Delhi, India. Although this was not my first international experience, it was my time as an intern in India that shaped my career goals and motivated me to pursue the study of Hindi-Urdu and to pursue my Master’s degree. After returning home from India, I began studying Hindi-Urdu at the University of Utah, and was determined to get back to India as soon as possible to further my language studies. I applied to CLS and for a FLAS scholarship. I was not awarded either one. However, over the process of completing these applications—and even after I had been declined the awards—I was given great advice about what makes an outstanding scholarship application. I strive to share this advice along with my own insights with my students. I operate under the guiding philosophy that lack of financial means should not ever prevent a student from learning abroad. International educational experiences foster the multilingual, independent, responsible and culturally aware people that will make our world a more supportive and successful place.

Since my area of expertise is writing, this blog and the advice given here focuses on the essay portion of scholarship applications. While this is a crucial (I think the MOST crucial) aspect of any scholarship application, there are often other components that will impact whether or not you may receive a scholarship. These factors may include: GPA, community service experience, field-related experience (i.e.  internships, jobs), language experience, financial background, ethnic or racial background, area of interest or field of study. I will not necessarily be addressing these factors in any of my posts, but I will be happy to answer questions as they arise.

What and for Whom?

Gilman Statement of Purpose Essay: Understanding your audience and their goals

As is the case for any essay, it is vital that you understand your audience and the goals of the Gilman scholarship before you begin writing.

So…what are the goals of the Gilman scholarship program?

As stated on their website, The Benjamin A. Gilman scholarship is a program which “broadens the student population that studies abroad by supporting undergraduates who might not otherwise participate due to financial constraints.” Further, “The Gilman Scholarship Program aims to support students who have been traditionally under-represented in study abroad, including but not limited to, students with high financial need, community college students, students in under-represented fields such as the sciences and engineering, students with diverse ethnic backgrounds, and students with disabilities. The program seeks to assist students from a diverse range of public and private institutions from all 50 states, Washington, DC and Puerto Rico.”

What this means for you is that you need to keep the notions of diversity, financial constraints, underrepresented populations in mind as you write your statement of purpose.

What this does not mean for you is that you should not apply if you are not a member of a group which is traditionally considered underrepresented. You may just need to be a little creative.

When your readers (we will get to them in a minute) score your statement of purpose essay, they are first and foremost looking for you to tell them WHY you fit the goals of the Gilman program. You can be a good fit in a variety of ways: you may be from a diverse or underrepresented ethnic background, have a disability, attend a community college, or a historically minority-serving institution. You could be from an underrepresented state or traveling to a non-traditional destination. Maybe you are studying a critical needs language or are a student of science, technology, engineering or math. Whatever your qualifying aspects are, just remember that those must be the focus of your statement of purpose.

So…who is my audience?

The panel reading and reviewing your application will be comprised of International Education professionals. This may include professors or faculty, advisors, and administrators. Given this audience, there are a few important things to keep in mind:

• These people know A LOT about study abroad. They are familiar with many programs, destinations, and have more often than not been on study abroad programs themselves.
  • So what? : You don’t need to sell your reader on the merits of study abroad in general. Rather, what you need to do is convince your reader that you have chosen the best program to fit your academic and professional goals.
  • These people are reading A LOT of essays in a short amount of time!
    • So what?: You want to clear, succinct, creative. You want to stand out, but only for your well-organized, and well-articulated essay (not for your quirks and grammatical mistakes!).
• These people are passionate about education, passionate about encouraging underrepresented students to go abroad.
  • So what?: They really do want to see that you fit the goals of the Gilman scholarship; they are not secretly hoping that you will divert into a story about your childhood pet or your passion for anime.