Sample Gilman Essay #3: England

The following is a sample of a successful Gilman essay submission. The student who wrote this essay was awarded a Gilman scholarship for her summer learning abroad program to London, England. Following the essay, I give a brief discussion of what I feel to be the strong points of this essay. 

*Note: Portions of this essay have been removed out of consideration for the privacy of the author

Essay:

I am applying for the Gilman Scholarship in order to participate in the University of Utah London Street Scenes study abroad program. I am a University of Utah English major, and my focus is British Studies, particularly Romantic, Victorian, and Renaissance fiction. One of my goals for the future is to write historical fiction set in England, so this trip would certainly be an inspiration for me. I am a senior and will be graduating this summer semester. This study abroad program would fulfill all but one of my remaining upper division English credits as well as the International Requirement for my Bachelor of Arts degree. It would be the perfect finish for my English degree; it is a chance to experience in person the settings of the literature that I have been studying. But even more than that, the London Street Scenes program would be the most amazing experience of my life so far. I have always dreamed of going to England, but have never had the opportunity to travel before.

I am so hopeful that I can travel to England; I have always been enamored with British culture. In addition to my love for its literature, I find its history fascinating. I love so many things of British society, the art and architecture, tradition, linguistics, music, royalty, fashion, food, the stunning landscapes, and multicultural people. The past has always been interesting to me, and Britain has centuries more history than the United States. I think the people of Britain have a greater appreciation of their history and nature. For example, Londoners spend daily time in their city’s incredible parks or work in modern corporations housed in buildings designed by Christopher Wren. They have preserved these treasures, while in contrast, American historic buildings and natural places are often built over. I appreciate that the British place value on that beauty and that they seem to live with energy, optimism, and a celebration of their past and present. Any trip to London would be wonderful, but this program’s theme of Graphic London Street Scenes is perfect for me since it includes an exploration of the gothic city settings of Victorian novels. We will study Victorian and post-colonialist authors. I am also excited that the class will see a Shakespearean play at the Globe Theatre, visit Oxford University, and that we’ll live on the gorgeous campus of Regent’s College. In this program, the interactive class is given Mondays through Wednesdays, and the remainder of the week belongs to the students to pursue their own interests. If I’m able, I want to explore England a little, with train trips to see the incredible country sides of the Cumbrian Lake District and Yorkshire, and to visit Bath and Hampshire to explore the life of my favorite author, Jane Austen. However, experiencing the city of London would be more than enough for me. I am looking forward to visiting the London art galleries’ collections of my favorite Victorian artists, Turner and Constable, and the cathedrals and parks. I hope to see my two favorite musicals, “Les Misérables” and “Phantom of the Opera”, and to see a performance of the Royal Ballet. I am planning an individual research project about the role of London in the life and works of Jane Austen. While pursuing this research about my favorite author, I think it will just be fun to wander along the streets and absorb the city that has influenced so many creative minds. In this program, I will be one of a group of other U of U students and taught by U of U faculty. We will have access to the student facilities such as the cafeteria, library, and computers. I think that the familiarity, convenience, and security of that college environment will be helpful to me as a first time traveler.

With these circumstances, being a learning abroad student would be my first and only opportunity to travel, and scholarships are my only source of funding. Receiving the Gilman scholarship would make it possible for me to pay for the program cost. My trip would be a real example of the opportunities education can give. As soon as I graduate I am excited to begin working. I will need to find a job to support myself while I continue to work on my creative interests, including writing. This study abroad experience will be a valuable addition to my resume and something to discuss with potential employers. As excited as I am for my learning abroad program, I know that travel comes with challenges.  Everything about this travel experience will be new; I’ve never travelled away from home or even flown on a plane before.

Considering the obstacles I’ve had to face in my life, this trip would be a personal triumph, and I know I would return a stronger person. Doing something for the first time naturally makes me nervous, but my excitement is even more powerful than my nerves. I believe that I can handle the challenges, so completing this trip would give me the confidence and personal accomplishment of overcoming such emotional hardships. When I return it would mean so much to me to know that I made it to the place I’ve wanted to visit for so long.

 

Discussion:

Here are a few key aspects which made this essay a strong contender for the Gilman scholarship:

1. This student spends a lot of time discussing the location of her program; she is very specific about what aspects have drawn her to the culture of London. Essay readers want to see that you have thoughtfully chosen a learning abroad program that is going to benefit you personally, academically, professionally; this essay is an excellent example of such a thoughtful selection.
2. The opening paragraph of this essay is great; it is straight-forward, simple. Right from the beginning lines of this essay, the reader knows exactly what the author is about, why she wants to go abroad, and what her program will be like.
3.  This student avoids vague phrases like “life changing,” “international experience,” and “cultural education,” and rather uses specifics about British culture, literature, and her research project as it relates to these things.

Sample Gilman Essay #1: Brazil

The following is a sample of a successful Gilman essay submission. The student who wrote this essay was awarded a Gilman scholarship for his summer internship in Brazil. Following the essay, I give a brief discussion of what I feel to be the strong points of this essay. 

Essay:

I come from a background of mixed heritage: my mother is from Barbados, an island in the West Indies, and my father is from the United States. With them I have lived a third of my life overseas and have gained a unique perspective not afforded to many. My parents have taught me to be understanding of all walks of life and have taught me the importance of integrating the strengths of various cultures around the world. Five of the eight years that I have lived abroad were spent in Taiwan where I learned what it was like to be in the minority. My parents immersed me in the culture by sending me to Taiwanese kindergarten and elementary school.  Entering elementary school, I faced prejudice and misunderstanding.  But I also made great friendships.  I was able to pick up the language easily and interpret for my family. Participating in school was challenging academically, however, because my parents could not help me with my Chinese homework. My father would often take me to a Chinese tutor so I could practice my Chinese reading skills. This helped, but I still scored low on my tests, and would often compare my low scores to my classmates’ scores.  My parents helped me to understand that Chinese was not my first language.  Yet, I was speaking it fluently.  I was able to speak two languages when most children were speaking one. It helped me to focus on my strengths rather than my weaknesses.   I also spent one year living and attending school in Barbados. Here, I was able to learn in a different setting and got the privilege of learning from my mother’s family. My other two years abroad were spent in Brazil where I worked as a humanitarian.  My time abroad has given me a love of experiencing new places and people, food and music; I have learned to take something from each culture to make myself a better person.

I have wanted to take part in this internship for quite some time now. But like many college students, I have had to provide means to pay for my college education.  My family’s finances would not allow them to pay for my school, let alone provide the funding to pay for this summer internship. The last three years I have paid for my schooling by sacrificing my summers to sell home security systems. Through this summer job, I was able to pay for schooling but knew I was missing out on opportunities to participate in career-building internships. I realized that internships were just as important as schooling itself and that I would have to find another means to pay for my schooling so that I could participate in summer internships. My sister pays for her school through scholarship funding, so I decided to follow suit. I applied for several scholarships, and to my disappointment I was not a recipient for the first few I applied for. However, as someone once told me, “no never means no;” I knew persistence was the key. After filling out many more applications, I was awarded two scholarships along with a Pell grant. This experience taught me diligence and has provided me with the reassurance that failing at first does not mean that you will keep failing. Thanks to my scholarships and grants, I have been able to save money to cover some of the costs of my summer internship, but I still require some funding to cover the remainder of the internship and to make this opportunity a real possibility for me.

During the two years I spent in Brazil I was doing humanitarian work, serving as a missionary.  My two years spent there were not spent as a tourist but as someone that became closely involved with the people. I spent most of my time serving others by inviting them to church and helping to lift their spirits. I helped families throughout Rio de Janiero.  I recall the joy of helping a family build a water tank so they would always have water, even in the dry season.  One of the most physically demanding jobs I experienced was helping a father finish his cement roof.  We carried buckets of cement up a ladder, and poured the cement into various prepared sections. This experience was both physically challenging and rewarding at the same time.  This and many other experiences helped me to discover that when you lose yourself in helping others, you find yourself as well.

I realized during my time in Rio de Janeiro that Brazil had a lot of potential for economic growth. This realization, along with my sound understanding of Portuguese, led to my decision to pursue this summer international internship working for Azul Airlines. The internship is facilitated through the Hinckley Institute of Politics. The Hinckley Institute of Politics allows students to experience different cultures and global policies while getting hands-on work experience. It allows us to immerse ourselves in a real international work environment. This internship is a major step towards a career in international business, the field in which I hope to work  after I graduate. An internship will allow me to pursue my future career goals by making my resume much more competitive. It will allow future employers to see that I have international work experience, which will be especially valuable in my quest to become a consultant for Barbados, my mother’s home country. Improving relations between Brazil and Barbados would be an ideal career path for me, as it would integrate my cultural heritage with my experiences in  and love for Brazil. Working for Azul Airlines will allow me to have hands-on experience in one of the fastest growing economies in the world. Over the past few years, Brazil has become a global economic powerhouse. Today it is currently ranked the sixth largest economy overall, having just surpassed the United Kingdom. The Brazilian economy is seeing a vast expansion of the middle-class. The country will host  the World Cup in 2014 and the Summer Olympic games in 2016. Much of the world’s spotlight seems to shine on Brazil and I plan to be part of that spotlight. My great love for the culture and people and the positive reviews of several students who had previously participated in this program, made me realize that this internship was what I needed to do and would be key for job placement in the future.

Discussion:

Here are a few key aspects which made this essay a strong contender for the Gilman scholarship:

1. The essay opens with an interesting but succinct discussion of the student’s diverse background. This is a great example of telling a personal story without rambling or including extraneous details. After reading the opening paragraph of this essay, we know that this student is multiracial, multilingual, and has had a variety of life experiences. However, the student has not been unduly wordy or lengthy in his descriptions; he tells the reader just enough.
2. The student is clear about why he chose this particular study abroad, and how it fits in to his larger career goals. This essay leaves no doubt that this internship will be a great investment for the Gilman scholarship. The student avoids vague phrases like “life changing,” “international experience,” and “cultural education,” and rather uses specifics about Brazil’s booming economy and growing world presence.
3. This essay is well edited (no typos or grammatical errors) and is well structured. The essay has a clear progression which is easy for the reader to follow and understand.

 

Dos and Don’ts

Dos and Don’ts of the Gilman Statement of Purpose

1. DO be specific and precise. Abstract language and vague references to lessons learned or experiences lived won’t get you anywhere. Your reader wants proof that you have thought in concrete terms about what your study abroad experience will be like and what its impacts will be.
2. DO edit! Proofread! Your reader is going to be reading a lot of essays; little grammatical errors, typos or misspellings can be irritating to readers and demonstrate a sloppiness or lack of dedication.
3. DO NOT be sassy. Your essay can have personality and be unique without being sassy, boastful or goofy.
4. DO use the space that you have! Your essay does not have to be exactly 7000 characters, but your readers will definitely notice if it is really short, especially if you leave things out.
5. DO NOT be sappy. Sap is a total turn-off. Everyone can (and does) say “this will change my life,” “I’ve dreamt of this forever…”
6. DO pay attention to small formatting details like paragraph breaks. When the reader opens your essay (perhaps the 60^th one that she has read in the past 2 days) and sees one huge block of tiny text with no paragraph breaks or indents, she does not want to read your essay, and is already predisposed to dislike it.
7. DO have someone read your essay. Have an advisor, writing center staff, friend or family member read over your essay for content and typos.